Yesterday's weekend edition hosted a few doozies, what I have dubbed 'Only in China' stories. The first OIC:
News from Hunan: 'College men get safety advice book'
A young man's version of a security manual has gone on sale following the publication of a similar manual for young women last year. Written by the same college in Wuchang, the manual aims to improve safety awareness and establish correct core values. The manual outlines various scenarios and responses through cartoons and covers safety issues that young men in college may face. Among other bits of advice, the manual advises college students to stay away from ill-behaved baifumei (which, rich, beautiful girls) and be more careful when making friends. More than 10,000 copies have been sold to date.
I know quite a few rich, white, beautiful women who moved here to poach poor provincial Chinese college boys. Watch out!
More poignantly, perhaps, is this OIC:
More poignantly, perhaps, is this OIC:
New from Hubei: 'Teacher's criticism causes girl to faint'
A 17-year-old high school girl in Wuhan fainted over her teacher's criticism, Wuhan Evening News reported on Wednesday. The teacher noticed the girl, surnamed Xie, was absent-minded during a dancing rehearsal and asked her to concentrate. Xie collapsed and became delirious on hearing the criticism before being sent to a local psychiatric hospital. Xie's mother said similar things often happened to the only child. Xie's doctor said the girl suffered from hysteria brought on by being spoiled, which triggers the disease.
Take that, London schoolgirls!
And possibly, my favourite for its sheet capitalistic streak that mimics every American holiday but isn't afraid to stand up and say it:
Record 'Singles Day' online sales expected
This year's 'Singles Day' shopping spree, which happens on Nov 11, is expected to generate record levels of online spending according to the latest market predictions…The idea of Singles Day was first dreamed up by the recently floated e-commerce giant Alibaba Group Holding Ltd five years ago to encourage people without partners to comfort themselves with some retail therapy.
That's right folks, don't have a husband, partner, lesbian lover? Go buy some crap and feel happy that you're all by yourself. Alone. Drinking wine and nibbling corn cakes in your underwear.
Seeing that my boyfriend's practically two continents away, Kim and I have decided to frequent Carrefour and participate in their buy three bottles, get three free wine sale. That's got to be better than poor Wan Lijie, 29, who's: 'determined to stick to a sensible budget [and buy] daily essentials such as toothpaste, tissue and laundry detergent.'
In fact, maybe we'll find her in Carrefour. Maybe she can join our wine party.
No comments:
Post a Comment