Singles' Day and other OIC stories

Yesterday, on my flight back to Shanghai, I happened to pick up a copy of The China Daily, China's English written newspaper.  For various reasons, it's a hoot.  Check out their website for its e-edition here:  China Daily Online.

Yesterday's weekend edition hosted a few doozies, what I have dubbed 'Only in China' stories.  The first OIC:

News from Hunan:  'College men get safety advice book'

A young man's version of a security manual has gone on sale following the publication of a similar manual for young women last year.  Written by the same college in Wuchang, the manual aims to improve safety awareness and establish correct core values.  The manual outlines various scenarios and responses through cartoons and covers safety issues that young men in college may face.  Among other bits of advice, the manual advises college students to stay away from ill-behaved baifumei (which, rich, beautiful girls) and be more careful when making friends.  More than 10,000 copies have been sold to date.

I know quite a few rich, white, beautiful women who moved here to poach poor provincial Chinese college boys.  Watch out!

More poignantly, perhaps, is this OIC:

New from Hubei:  'Teacher's criticism causes girl to faint'

A 17-year-old high school girl in Wuhan fainted over her teacher's criticism, Wuhan Evening News reported on Wednesday.  The teacher noticed the girl, surnamed Xie, was absent-minded during a dancing rehearsal and asked her to concentrate.  Xie collapsed and became delirious on hearing the criticism before being sent to a local psychiatric hospital.  Xie's mother said similar things often happened to the only child.  Xie's doctor said the girl suffered from hysteria brought on by being spoiled, which triggers the disease.  

Take that, London schoolgirls! 

And possibly, my favourite for its sheet capitalistic streak that mimics every American holiday but isn't afraid to stand up and say it:

Record 'Singles Day' online sales expected

This year's 'Singles Day' shopping spree, which happens on Nov 11, is expected to generate record levels of online spending according to the latest market predictions…The idea of Singles Day was first dreamed up by the recently floated e-commerce giant Alibaba Group Holding Ltd five years ago to encourage people without partners to comfort themselves with some retail therapy.

That's right folks, don't have a husband, partner, lesbian lover?  Go buy some crap and feel happy that you're all by yourself.  Alone.  Drinking wine and nibbling corn cakes in your underwear.  

Seeing that my boyfriend's practically two continents away, Kim and I have decided to frequent Carrefour and participate in their buy three bottles, get three free wine sale.  That's got to be better than poor Wan Lijie, 29, who's: 'determined to stick to a sensible budget [and buy] daily essentials such as toothpaste, tissue and laundry detergent.'  

In fact, maybe we'll find her in Carrefour.  Maybe she can join our wine party.  

Beijing

Amongst other you're moving to China advice I was given, the most astute has been 'the sky is never blue in China.'  Shades of yellow, grey, even green, yes but that's all.  Nowhere is this more true than in Beijing, the country's capital.  Its geographical position ensures it has cold, harsh winters that start early and end late.  And because the Chinese are a little bit more than superstitious about the cold, heaters, and therefore coal factories, work overtime to heat people's homes.  But houses are tile-floored and insulation is sparse so the coal factories work even harder.  Pollution in Beijing in the wintertime is unbearable, so I've been told.

Imagine my surprise this morning when stepping out of my Beijing hotel room after a three-day IB training course and into a crisp, blue, autumnal sky.

As it turns out, the government has the ability to control the colour of the sky.  Our visit coincided with the annual APEC Conference, a gathering of the Asia Pacific region's governments, with a goal of fostering stronger economic ties between the countries.  And because of this rather prestigious gathering, the government decided upon a few drastic measures: 1. close all schools and public offices and give everyone a week's holiday to get the hell out of the city.  2. limit the cars on the road by only allowing odd number plates on the road on one day and even numbers on another 3. shut down all major factories.  And this trifecta of wisdom (control?) sent pollution levels plummeting to all time lows.  Where in else in the world could a government make this happen?

All in all, Beijing surprised me.  It was the Chinese city I was expecting when I moved here--bright lights, easy to walk places, accessible public transport.  Granted, I didn't see all that much of it.  We spent 8am-5pm for three days of a conference at WAB, the Western Academy of Beijing, a school so impressively sprawling, it's got its own cafe.  With an indoor river. And a waterfall.

But in the downtime, I made friends with two girls from a school in Cambodia and we made it as far as: the Irish pub across the street; Sanlitun; Gui Jie--a street crammed with Chinese restaurants serving Beijing duck and langoustines.

 Of course, we found apt signage:

Gui Jie was crammed to the rafters with Chinese people waiting patiently outside restaurants that were crammed to the rafters indoors.  People were wrapped up tightly in layers of scarves and coats whilst sitting on stools munching on sunflower seeds and discarding the shells in spitfire fashion.  An automated LED number system indicated to them when their table was ready.  Considering that in most everyday situations the Chinese don't wait very patiently, the food must've been good.   

 On the end of our last evening, we even found a bowling alley in our hotel.

As for the major tourist sights, those'll have to wait for next time.  

Friday Night Lights

I happen to date an Anglo-Italian who, for since as long as I've known him, has had an obsession with American culture. In fact, his opening 'line' when we met was--'Oh my God, are you American?'  Paul's persistence paid off--after I rolled my eyes and sent him away, he came back seven songs later, dance moves in hand.  The rest, as one says, is history.

Fast forward to my brother's wedding at the end of October.  It was the first time I'd been in the US in the autumn for years and Paul's first.  Between rehearsal dinners and family events that overtook a four-day-trip to the states, we managed to sneak out for a cheeky hour of the high school football game.  It was like walking out of my parents' house and straight into my past.  Considering my family doesn't trust me with their cars and we got dropped off at the gates, it was uncannily like my high school days.  

Paul was over the moon.  With a spirit akin to Christmas morning and the first day of holiday combined, he bopped to the music of the band, marveled over the community spirit and tried to pretend like he knew what was going on on the football field.

Because donuts were not an option.

For me, minus the glasses, braces and bad hair, it was like no time had passed.  The band played the same fire up tunes, had the same order of songs, marched off the fight song whose words I still remembered.

In formation.

The cheerleaders did the same flips, cheered the same cheers, tumbled their way dizzy.

And it was kind of glorious.  Don't get me wrong, you couldn't pay me enough to go back.  But nostalgia reminded me of the grand adventures I had in my teens and the friends I made in the process.  For Paul, he could put an understanding to his reformed band geek girlfriend whilst celebrating all things Americana.  

Oh, where does the time go? 

Shanghai to Michigan and back

In the last week or so, my brother got married, I flew home and back on two 13-hour epic journeys, had a mini-journey with Paul to high school Friday night lights and discovered some Shanghai joy.  Namely, in the shape of a handmade boot shop that houses the handmade boot man who is going to replace a beloved, but crappy, pair of boots from New Look with a pair of genuine dead cow leather ones.  I don't claim to be congruent in my vegetarianism.  

Now that I'm on the other side of jet lag, I’ve slept a lot this weekend and am backdating my blog posts from my half term travels.  Check out: Chengdu, Pandas, Xi’an.  More to come.  Look back!